My Dog Bella is a High School Grad

Watch the NBC5 Story click on Bellas Picture Below:

Yes, my dog Bella graduated from high school. She even has the diploma to prove it. Arlington’s New Beginnings Christian Academy sent her a 37 page test. I helped her fill it out, along with some help from my boss, her father and my nephew. We passed, or Bella passed, with flying colors.

New Beginnings says its a home school. But we didn’t take any classes and we got a transcript complete with 4 years worth of grades and course work. New Beginnings insists it is there to help the underprivileged get a step up on life. I ask, isn’t that what public school is for. Giving someone a diploma with no education seems to me like its actually holding them down.

The whole thing costs 275 dollars. The point of my story is anyone can get help. Even a dog. No offense to Bella, but maybe her new diploma is really more for the birds.

Watch the Story Here. Bella Graduates!

My Wife Would Kill Me

What is it about politicians wives that they feel they need to stand next to their husband during the most embarrassing moment of their lives. Gov. Elliot Spitzer of New York marched out in front of cameras to tell the world he made a mistake when it came to his involvement with prostitutes. Standing next to him, his lovely wife, who did not look all that supportive or happy to be there. Can you imagine the conversation earlier in the day.

Governor: Honey, I was hanging with prostitutes and the feds found my text messages to some hooker that describes how rough I like it. I’m obviously in a little trouble, would mind standing next to me during a press conference later? And it would help if you look supportive.

Mrs. Spitzer: You what? You lousy no good dirty dog! Well, I guess I have to go get my hair done today. My appointment was for Friday, I hope they can fit me in.

If this or anything similar ever happened to me, my wife would be at a news conference, her own! She would certainly be announcing her intentions to seek the death penalty. And I am sure she would have no problems telling the world what a Jack Ass I was. In-fact, if I got caught putting a hooker on a train to meet me in Austin, I am fairly certain Amy would be tying me to the tracks not standing next to me in front of all those cameras.

Remember the Governor of New Jersey James McGreevey? He admitted to having a homo-sexual affair with a staffer. Sure enough, his wife was right there with him on stage. Who can forget Hilliary Clinton and Bill?

Again, if I disrespected my wife like that, ,the only stage Amy would stand with me on is the kind where the floor drops out. Truth is, none of it would ever happen. Notice Amy is not pushing me into the ocean, we are simply a happy couple on vacation!

The Best Burger Recipe Ever

I don’t cook. I don’t bake. I don’t even grill. The only thing I actually do in the kitchen is direct the person who is cooking and of course, I EAT the end result.

The other day I came up with the greatest burger recipe in history, then told my wife how to make it. I stole some of the ingredients from Chef Gordon Ramsey, some from my father, and the rest I came up with it on my own. So if you like a good thick hunk of hamburger that tastes better then you have ever had, try this at home:

1lb of Ground Beef (Must be PRIME Grade A) The quality of the beef could be the most important factor. Spend the money, you will not regret it.
1 minced onion (I like the pieces to be a little thicker)
2 teaspoons of garlic salt
1 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon of tabasco sauce
1 quick pour of Sam Adams Beer
2 tablespoons of Honey Mustard
2 egg yolkes
dash of salt and pepper
Mix all the ingredients up with your hands. Shape into thick large oval burgers. Cook on Grill until temperature reaches medium. Top with Cheddar cheese and melt breifly. Eat up. If it’s not the best burger you ever had, sue me!