The Odds Makers Have Spoken, We Have a New President

Anyone who watches sports knows it is amazing how close bookmakers come to setting the line for a sporting a event.  If there success translates to the Presidential election Obama is a heavy favorite.  The line is about what it would be if Oklahoma played SMU.  Sportsbook.com has the line at 2-9 in favor of Barack Obama.  That means you need to bet $9 to win just $2!

The bookies are calling for a romp.  I would assume the line would mimic the nation.  Bookies are the most neutral, undecided group in the world.  They don’t care who wins, as long as even money is split on both sides.  When the money flocks to Obama, they move the line to make McCain more of an underdog in hopes of enticing people to bet on him for the big pay off.  They way the line is set right now, shows that everyone is betting on Obama.

Here are some links where you can find the odds and watch them change:

1. Sportsbook.com
2. Oddschecker.com
3. World Sports Exchange

Congress Passes Bail Out Plan – For Themselves

Today Congress approved a sweeping bail out plan to ensure all members of Congress are re-elected.  The House joined the Senate in voting unanimously to take 200 of the 700 billion dollars meant for Wall Street and split it amongst their own campaign coffers.

Realizing a “Wall Street Bail Out” would never get done before Election Day, House leaders came up with a plan to use government debt to finance their re-election campaigns to ensure each member of Congress  would be able to return to Washington to work on the plan to calm financial markets.

“We are all in this together,” one Congressman said, “If we can’t return to D.C. together, then we refuse to bail out the fat cats of Wall Street.”  Another prominent Senator stated boldly, “This plan let’s the American people know once and for all, we in Congress are just out for ourselves, no more lies or deceit, the only goal now is to get re-elected.”

Political operatives believe the plan is a brilliant one.  Here is what one strategist said, “The media will now be focused on how Congress voted to give themselves millions in tax payer dollars to finance their own re-election campaigns.  The media will forget all about the crisis on Wall Street.”

Finally one congressional leader summed it up this way, “After we buy ourselves another term, using tax payer dollars, then we can get back to the business of solving the financial crisis.”  But most insiders believe they won’t work too fast, they are loving all the TV interviews that come with the stalemate.

(Note To Gullible Readers:  This is satire and for entertainment purposes only)

Mild Manered Congressman Sinks the Market or Saves It?

Is Republican Congressman Jeb Hensarling now saying what the hell did I get myself into?  Many in Washington are crediting him, or blaming him for yesterday’s failed “Bail Out” vote.  The mild mannered, often unnoticed, congressman from Dallas now has himself smack in the middle of the nation’s worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.

Congressional insiders tell me Hensarling was instrumental in pulling his fellow republicans onto the “vote no” side.  When the stock market plummeted nearly 800 points Hensarling told me, “it was gut wrenching to watch.”  Even he acknowledges some kind of action needs to be taken to calm the financial markets.  If Congress doesn’t act soon, it will be “gut wrenching” to watch my 401k disappear before my eyes.